Friday, 27 February 2009

• Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

  Or at least that is what Sorien Kirkegaard says.  While life if a constant barrage of information like successes, failures, things to remember, or things to forget, it is also a complete mystery.  We never truly know what will happen on a second to second basis.  Nor do we know how we will react to what happens.  The only constant thing in life is the knowledge that life will continue to rush towards death.  I have heard it said many times that hindsight is 20/20.  And I have found this to be continually true.  It seems that only after the circumstance can we truly understand what the right thing was to do.  I  have had time to think about such a circumstance.  A young man, just a few years younger than me, was in my office the other day almost in tears because of a relationship.  He was clinging to a relationship with a young woman.  It started out to be benificail to both parties, but after a while it had become mutually destructive.  The young woman's father didn't approve of this young man and had forbidden his daughter from dating him.  Of course they snuck around just like any other pair of young people who are in love but forbidden from being so.  Because of this the relationship continued to become more and more destructive.  Finally, this young man is sitting in my office.  Ironically, I have a hard time reaching this young man on a regular basis, but today I was able to reach him like never before.  I, having been in the same situation only a few years ago myself, began to share my story with him.  It wasn't a story of sadness, but of hope.  He had reached the point where he thought this was the only girl that would ever love him.  I had been there too.  However as life progressed I became married a few years later and am now expecting my first child.  I explained to him that it is only now that I truely understand what happend in the past.  "It's just so hard", he said through his tears.  I know, exactly how that feels.  Later on I reflected more on my own circumstance I realized just how important it was for me to go through that experience.  It has had a lot to do with the man I am today.  It has caused me to stop and examine things a little more throughly.  It also taught me how to love., and how true love is the kind that never turns its back on you despite the circumstances.  Lastly, it taught me that true love doesn't have to be made to work, but rather that it comes naturally and even through there are times you have to work through problems, the love remains constant.    I also realize how important the friendship I lost was.  I almost regret ever loving that person simply because it cost me a great friendship.  Life is full of regrets, or as some would say learning expriences.  Do I regret what happend?  Yes and no.  I miss the friendship, but I don't regret what I learned from the experience.  I don't regret the relationship I have now, nor the wisdom that comes from learning from circumstances.  It seems that while we don't like it, life can only be lived forward and understood backwards.  The important thing in life is to not get so indifferent that we don't try to understand.
  
  

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